Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
