I love black thongs
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Randomize
