I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize