I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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