hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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