Just cropdusted the office
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
