Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You pole danced in your parka.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
