we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I did not marry a roomba.
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