hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
