She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
