How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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