His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
