im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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