all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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