And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
