you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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