I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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