NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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