what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
