It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
