so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Well I just put wine in my tea
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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