This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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