I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
