And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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