i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize