Umm I'm too high to move.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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