I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
