just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
