is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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