I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
