i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
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It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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