we have officially lost it.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
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well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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