I skipped work to stalk him.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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