she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
