I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
