Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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