Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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