K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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