uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
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