I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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