Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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