the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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