I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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