I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize