he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
