in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We have started to decorate penises.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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