wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I want a musical about memes.
Never joke about your clitoris.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize