no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
