On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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