biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
