So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Im part way to drunk.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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