:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
