We're like a lot better than the average bears
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
