Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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