so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
