White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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