I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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