cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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