i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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