so explain again why im purple
no
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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