well I can't set my house on fire every night
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
