ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
