I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
