Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
