Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (+44): View more from England

  Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food. http://tfl.nu/05sf
  Replies (20) Good night (3724) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :( http://tfl.nu/pd8d
  Replies (26) Good night (700) Bad night (3762)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...

  (1-386): View more from Florida

  thanks for that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (386): I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth... (1-386): thanks for that. http://tfl.nu/7u0v
  Replies (105) Good night (1236) Bad night (4339)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line. http://tfl.nu/xyp6
  Replies (9) Good night (4423) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office. http://tfl.nu/0hvj
  Replies (7) Good night (1581) Bad night (3909)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems http://tfl.nu/61dr
  Replies (13) Good night (1297) Bad night (3095)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are. http://tfl.nu/chox
  Replies (23) Good night (1570) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation. http://tfl.nu/hpn0
  Replies (2) Good night (1367) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face. http://tfl.nu/kivi
  Replies (6) Good night (531) Bad night (1558)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes. http://tfl.nu/hx7l
  Replies (10) Good night (909) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke http://tfl.nu/mtw8
  Replies (1) Good night (551) Bad night (1308)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break? http://tfl.nu/c6en
  Replies (1) Good night (868) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing. http://tfl.nu/pa54
  Replies (4) Good night (677) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is. http://tfl.nu/ous1
  Replies (1) Good night (1036) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter http://tfl.nu/aqnw
  Replies (0) Good night (524) Bad night (265)

Randomize