what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
