K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
