I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
as a side note pls kill me
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
