You took a bar mat shot.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
