And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I didn't notice because vodka
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
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He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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